The Marvel Cinematic Universe is one of the most influential cinematic properties ever created and an important part of my childhood. Of that there is no doubt. There is also no doubt of its lack of quality as of late.
Now, many of the great modern philosophers have discussed why this downward turn has happened, and though I am but one of many thousand voices, I still felt that I wanted to talk about it.
There’s a sort of defensive fervour that surrounds the MCU, people who staunchly defend the universe no matter the objective quality of the media produced, like ants guarding a pile of faeces. The childish defences like “you couldn’t do any better”, “if you don’t like it then don’t watch it”, “stop hitting yourself”, “your mum” are among others that are flung like toys from a pram, the only difference between the metaphor and the reality being the size of the children in the cot.
The idea of “you couldn’t do any better” often bugs me, because it obviously isn’t true for everyone. There are writers out there who could do a more competent story than Thor: Love & Thunder attempts, so in reality all you’re saying is that you couldn’t do any better, which is fine, but not particularly relevant to any discussion. Sure, I couldn’t cook a beef wellington better than Gordon Ramsey, but you don’t need a Michelin star to know when the pastry is burned.
The dip in quality began at the advent of “phase 4”, the first film of the new phase being “Black Widow”, a film so sub-par that people stopped caring about its existence 10 minutes into its first act. Beginning this phase with this film is comparable to opening a rave with the latest Cowboy Junkies single, it doesn’t exactly get people in the right mood even if some would enjoy it.
Following that was Eternals, which I had to google to remember it existed. Its only perk being that it had so many actors in it that you can spend your time reading through the actors IMDb to work out what you recognise them from. The only issue with that strategy is that even if you spend 7 hours filling time in this way, you’d still be stuck watching the film, its title referring less to its heroes than its runtime. The only explanation for the film would be that it’s some vile experiment, the object being to see if they make a dull enough movie and loop it over and over again, how long would it be before someone’s glazed-over eyes recognised a scene they’d already watched.
Then there was Shang-Chi, which ended with a really big and extravagant fight scene that undermined the entire rest of the film. Clearly, Kevin Feige watched Wandavision and decided that a shite ending was the perfect formula for all following projects. Considering the next film was Dr Strange: In the Multiverse of Madness, he must have wondered if he made the whole film awful, people would complain less about the ending.
Like trying to unclog a toilet by taking a bigger shit in it, Dr Strange tried to repair some of the MCU’s dying reputation. It worked a kind of magic, the kind the magician who turned up to my primary school did, where come the end of it, everyone is upset, traumatised, and all the children have disappeared. The continuity of the universe is now annihilated, more full of holes than swiss cheese made by a hoard of hungry rats. The only entertaining parts were those where there were pretty colours on the screen, because the story lacked virtually anything other than 4 cool ideas.
The entire script was written in 2 weeks, and then scrapped and completely rewritten mid-production, an amazing feat since they could’ve spent the production writing nothing and jumping around with Harry Potter wands and created something of similar entertainment value.
To be fair, I really enjoyed Spiderman: No Way Home, thanks to some very fun bits and a bucket-ton of nostalgia. But when looking at the whole phase, it’s hard to defend it, even in comparison to some of the shite in phase 1.
During this time, TV shows were released, many of which didn’t even earn the staunch defence of the gushing children on twitter. They were:
- Wandavision: A show that started fine, got good, and then ended worse.
- Falcon & the winter soldier: a show that started and then (according to my sources) ended. That’s as positive as I’ve heard anyone get about it.
- Loki: a show that is actually meant to be really good if you’re one of the 17 people still interested
- What if…?: I found something else to watch
- Hawkeye: the show that wanted to be daredevil
- Moon Knight: the show that not even my Dad enjoyed
- Ms. Marvel: the show that released to the triumphant sound of crickets and was so under-promoted I didn’t know it existed until I looked it up for this round-up.
- She-Hulk: has a scene of Megan thee stallion twerking in it. I’m quite happy skipping it.
I am aware of how cynical of a view this post is, but it’s only something that you used to love that can make so you so disappointed and angry. At least, that’s what my mother tells me.