This Halloween I had a realisation. As I geared up to dress up for the first time in around 10 years, I looked at some of the things my friends were doing. I had a relatively low effort cowboy outfit, modern clothes, modern gun, a real holster which I got a ridiculous amount of pleasure out of quick drawing from.
My flatmates had:
- A shite batman outfit – looked rubbish but in an endearing way – it was at least funny
- a pirate outfit – looking decent, the whole outfit bought from a shop but lacked the dedication to get scurvy for the outfit
- my cowboy outfit – isn’t far from what I normally wear, so I thought I looked alright.
Now, the others seemed to be putting some proper effort in. One was dressed as Yennifer of Vengerberg from The Witcher. Specifically, the orgy scene in series 1. Not what you’d normally expect when hitting the town, but I suppose it’s better than going the full bore naked that she goes later that episode.
The other was dressed as a phantom of the opera type – red cloak, mask on, make up, Obi-wan Kenobi top. It was a lot of effort, but there was something missing. Partially, because he isn’t a cosplayer.
Granted, he looked better than someone else I know, dressed in a reddish devil outfit, a reference to a game that nobody in the clubs would recognise. He looked like someone took a toothpick to a turd and stencilled in the words “trying too hard”.
He’d put a lot effort in, but it failed again at the final hurdle: he wasn’t a cosplayer. See, it’s much like the uncanny valley graph. I have workshopped a theory that the way you look in a costume and the effort put in to making it are proportional, but not in a conventional way.
See, there’s an amount of effort that you see in costumes that makes someone look like they’re trying too hard, that makes them look less like they’re dressing up to have fun, but like they think they’re good at it and want to show it off. The costumes end up no better than wearing a sandwich board with the words “you really thought you did something there” on it.
Now, you see many fantastic costumes online, but that’s where they stay – online. Can you imagine going out to the club dressed up as a Space Marine from Warhammer? 8 feet tall, covered in tank armour, looking amazing but the moment you leave the house all eyes fall on you and the inevitable question of “yeah, but why?” comes up. You put in the effort and online is where it stays good, but most who try end up in the valley.
When you put a costume with little effort on, you look like you’re having a good time. When you make a great costume, you look like you shouldn’t leave the house in case you ruin the look. When you put in more effort than your ability allows you to, you look like you shouldn’t leave the house because you’d ruin everyone else’s evening.
It seems the solution is simple – wear nothing. Halloween costumes are the coward’s way out. The future is now, and it’s bare fuckin naked.